There have been so many times in my life when I’ve felt discontent, disappointed, and behind. I’ve felt that I should have a higher level position in my career, that I should be in better shape than I am, or that I should be buying a house instead of moving into another apartment. All of these spaces and so many others in my life where I’m just not yet where I want to be.
The feeling typically rises up when I compare myself to someone who is excelling in something I want to be successful at. Sometimes it’s when I reflect and think back to goals I had or look through journals from years past and see all the aspirations I have failed to achieve. That sting of regret for not starting sooner, working harder, or doing more. Saving more money, taking more risks, writing more often, doing more internships, and getting more degrees.
More and more and more.
As I’ve asked God to give me more and to push me to where I really want to be, two lessons have consistently resounded. To learn and to listen.
Learn
When you want more, or think God has something bigger planned for you, it’s easy to feel like where you are right now is meaningless. To allow the wanting to overcome the realization of opportunity that lies in the waiting. The support, influence, freedom, community, and space you have right now are overshadowed by the “more” that you’re craving.
But there is a reason you are right here, right now. If you’re not “there” yet, the truth is, you probably aren’t ready to be.
Think back to your childhood.
When learning to ride a bike, you started with training wheels. When learning to swim, you started in the shallow end. When learning to read, you started with the alphabet.
Why?
Because you had to.
Our entire childhood is built on these learning patterns of starting small and growing into the entirety of the skill. But now that we’re adults, we have this audacity to think we know more than we do and deserve more than we have. We think that because we got a degree, we’re fully equipped for our dream job and should be making a six-figure income immediately when in reality, we have so much more to learn.
I truly believe that the training we go through is what makes it possible – and is absolutely essential – for us to step into what God has for us. The thing is, we have to go through the training. We have to put in the work to grow into the steward we need to be in order to carry the purpose God has for us. Because if that purpose is from God, it won’t be small or easy; It will change the world and leave an impact on eternity.
In Ephesians 4, Paul urges us to, “walk worthy of the calling you have received,” which begs us to ask the question – Am I truly living in a way that is worthy of my God-given calling? Could I stand confidently in that dream right now, knowing that I have put forth the character-building, wisdom-fortifying, life-altering effort that it takes to gracefully step into a call that God himself has designed for me to impact the world for Jesus?
If the answer is no, which it absolutely was for me, then maybe instead of being disappointed by where we stand today, we can praise God for protecting us from a weight that we are not yet strong enough to carry.
God knows our limitations better than we do, and stepping into what we want – even if it is honoring and glorifying God – before we’re ready for it, isn’t what’s best for us or the people our purpose is meant to serve.
Even Jesus had to wait, learn, train, and prepare for his mission here on Earth. Between Jesus’ birth and dedication to the beginning of his ministry when he was 30 years old, there are only a few verses in Luke that tell us what he was doing. There is a story of Jesus at 12 years old staying behind in Jerusalem to learn from the teachers in the temple while his parents search for him, and then one short verse that gives us a glimpse into what the next 18 years of his life were like. Luke 2:52 says, “And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man.”
Jesus spent decades learning and growing before he began to fulfill his purpose on Earth. So instead of wishing you had more now, pray for patience and determination to learn in this season. Build up the wisdom and favor you will need to step into that God-given dream. Then put in the work to become the girl you need to be to fulfill the purpose God has for your life.
Listen
Listening is probably one of the most challenging parts of following Jesus. We pray all the time that he would speak to us. We read about, “how to hear God’s voice,” but oftentimes when he speaks so clearly to us, it isn’t what we expect to hear. It may make absolutely no sense or it takes immense bravery to do what he says, so we fail to actually listen.
Going back to the analogy of how we learned as children; If a parent tells a child who is learning to ride a bike to move out of the street for a car coming and the child does not obey, her parent isn’t going to give her more freedom. That’s logical. She hasn’t shown that she will behave properly if she is given more freedom. It’s when the child obeys her parent’s instruction consistently that the parent can trust she will move out of the way every time.
In the same way, we must build our obedience to God. If God says to move to a new place, leave a relationship, or change jobs, we have to act on our trust in God by being obedient. I’ll be the first to admit that this is far easier said than done.
The book of Esther portrays this kind of difficult obedience so beautifully. If you don’t know the story, here’s a synopsis:
King Ahasuerus is searching for a new queen and finds favor with Esther, but he doesn’t know that she is a Jew. Mordecai, Esther’s cousin and guardian, refuses to bow to the King’s highest official, Haman, which infuriates him to the point of asking the king if he could destroy the Jewish population. The king agrees and the decree is sent to all of the royal provinces.
When Mordecai hears about this, he tells Esther about what has happened and Esther reminds Mordecai that if she approaches the king and hasn’t been summoned, she might be killed. Mordecai tells Esther, “Don’t think that you will escape the fate of all the Jews because you are in the king’s palace. If you keep silent at this time, relief and deliverance will come to the Jewish people from another place, but you and your father’s family will be destroyed. Who knows, perhaps you have come to your royal position for such a time as this.” Esther 4:13-14.
If you’ve been a Christian for any amount of time, you’ve probably heard that last verse a few times. However, I want to draw your attention to what Mordecai tells Esther before that, in verse 13. He said, “Don’t think that you will escape the fate of all the Jews because you are in the king’s palace. If you keep silent at this time, relief and deliverance will come to the Jewish people from another place, but you and your father’s family will be destroyed.”
Mordecai clearly lays out Esther’s options. She can stay silent but will face the same fate as the rest of the Jews while God delivers his people through another means, or she can be a part of a move of God. While our options don’t usually involve death, we are often confronted with the same choice – be obedient and have the incredible opportunity to be a part of what God is doing, or live comfortably and watch from the sidelines while God does the miraculous work that you were meant to play a part in.
God doesn’t need you or me to do what he intends to do. He can do whatever he wants whether we get on board or not. But how sweet it is that God invites us to come alongside him in making an impact on the world, and more importantly, making a difference in eternity. We just need to be brave enough to accept the invitation.
I often choose ease, comfort, and familiarity, over faith, trust, and boldness, and then I wonder why I’m not doing the “more” that I think I should. But if I do nothing with what I currently have, I’m not developing the discipline and strength it will require to steward my purpose well. I haven’t shown God that he can trust me with more.
Someone once told me, “God won’t let you miss your purpose.”
While it was well-intended advice, it gave me false security that I could go through the motions, not putting any thought, effort, or planning into fulfilling that purpose, and then one day God would just make it all happen. And while that would be nice and easy if it were true, it isn’t how this works.
Jesus tells the parable of the talents in Matthew 25:14-30, where a master gives three servants each bags of talents (gold) according to their ability, and goes away for a journey. Upon returning, he takes account of what the servants have done. The servant who was given five bags gained five more, the one who was given two gained two more, and the servant who was given one bag buried it. The master celebrates the accomplishments of the two servants who made gains and puts them in charge of even more. But to the servant who hid the gold, he calls him wicked and lazy, taking the one bag and giving it to the servant with ten.
In the same way, God will not trust us with more until we are faithful with what we currently have. God has intended for us to accomplish such incredible things with the gifts, time, and skills he has given us, but we have to start where we are with what we have and steward it well before he will ever entrust us with more.
So…
If you want to be married, ask yourself, “Would I be a good, Godly wife right now?”
If you want to have a higher income, ask yourself, “Am I tithing faithfully and being generous with my current finances?”
If you want a bigger house, ask yourself, “Is there a way I can bless others with the space I already have?”
If you want a promotion in your job, ask yourself, “Am I doing my current job with a level of excellence, or just skating by?”
If you want more influence, ask yourself, “Am I leading my current circle of influence well?”
When we manage what we currently have in a way that honors God and blesses others, He can trust us with the more that we want. It is only once we have learned the skills, built the strength, and displayed the obedience that we can step into the fullness of the purpose God has written for our lives.
Xoxo,
Lindsay
Looking for more? Check out the latest blog posts below!
- How to Read the Bible and Actually Understand It
- How to Practice Self-Care as a Christian | Part Five: Gratitude
- How to Practice Self-Care as a Christian | Part Four: Community Support
- How to Practice Self-Care as a Christian | Part Three: Service
- How to Practice Self-Care as a Christian | Part Two: Scripture
