Lindsay Mercado No Comments

Have you ever been in a situation where you just need some extra confidence?

Maybe you need to have a hard conversation with your boss and you’re going to need some confidence to walk through that door. Or maybe you need to set boundaries with a friend and you need confidence to hold your ground in that conversation. Maybe you need to share your faith with someone who you’ve been around for a while, but you need some confidence for that.

Honestly, I’ve been thinking a lot about confidence because I feel like mine has been lacking lately and I haven’t been as confident as I used to be. 

Growing up, I never had any problem talking to authority figures or self-advocating. I loved meeting new people and felt confident talking to just about anyone. 

As I’ve gotten older, and especially in this season of my life, I just don’t feel like I have as much confidence.

So, I started digging into what might’ve changed. 

What I realized was that what I used to have was a lot of self-confidence. My confidence was based on me. I was confident in my achievements, my appearance, my abilities, and my knowledge. I stood on all of those things as a platform for my credibility and confidence.

I felt like I could walk into a room and have something interesting to say or stand in front of an authority figure and feel like I was good enough to be there. I was confident that I could look the part or say the right thing; I was confident in myself.

But what happened was that those things I was confident in in myself started to be stripped away. 

Becoming a mom changed my appearance.

Graduating from college meant I couldn’t boast about my GPA anymore.

Leaving my job to be a stay-at-home mom took away the projects and opportunities I had been so proud of.

I felt like I no longer had achievements to stand on, so my confidence dwindled, as well. 

When our confidence is built on things that shift, it isn’t built to last.

As believers, we need a confidence that can last. When the things that we could be proud of about ourselves fade away, we need a confidence that withstands the change. 

How to Build Confidence as a Christian:

The Foundation 

The foundation of our confidence has to be God. Jeremiah 17:7 says, “But blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him.

Our confidence must be first in God. In who He is; that He is sovereign, kind, good, faithful, all-powerful. We have to know who He is and who we are in Him. We are called, chosen, anointed, and given purpose by God.

Who we are doesn’t start with us.

God doesn’t call us because of who we are, He just calls us.

God hasn’t chosen us because we’re so great, He just chose us.

God doesn’t love us because we’re worthy of it, He just loves us.

It all starts with God pouring something out onto us. 

Isaiah 41:10 says, “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

God is doing all the work here. We’re told not to fear – to have confidence – because God will be with us, strengthen and help us, and uphold us. 

The Four Walls 

  1. Purpose  

Why does it matter? If you need confidence to do it, you need purpose to guide it.

If you feel like you need to share your faith with someone, why does that matter? You need to have a purpose strong enough to get you through the door. 

Maybe the purpose is to be obedient to God, to encourage someone else, to call out an injustice, or to protect your heart. Whatever it is, figure out the reason that you’re going to do it.

It’s going to be really hard to do a really hard thing if it doesn’t really matter, so identify the purpose.

  1. Preparation  

Prepare for the task at hand. Preparation doesn’t show a lack of trust in God, shows good stewardship of what God calls us to and the opportunities He gives us. It shows that we care. 

Ephesians 6 talks about putting on the armor of God. It doesn’t say that God puts the armor on us, but that we put on the armor. We are the ones preparing for the job, putting on the right equipment, and doing the homework.

If you plan on rolling down your window to help the next homeless person you see, take some time to prepare something to give to them, too. If we have the time to prepare, we should do some preparation to be good stewards of what God has called us to do. 

  1. Position 

It’s not about us. A lot of times, we get so nervous to step out and do the hard thing because we make it all about ourselves, but it’s not. 

We are just the messenger or the vessel or the delivery girl, but we are not the main event. This is not about us. When we stop worrying about if we mess up or say the wrong thing or look stupid, we’re going to be more confident to do the thing. 

The reality is, no one really cares about the messenger. They just want the message or the letter or the delivery. It’s our job to just be the hand that brings it.

In 2 Corinthians 12:9, it says, “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

When we stop thinking about ourselves, our weaknesses can be used by God. Our weakness is not an obstacle, but an opportunity for God to do something we could’ve never achieved on our own.

  1. Practice 

One of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever been given was, “Take every opportunity to have a hard conversation because it will make the next one easier.”

This applies to all areas of our lives. If we take every opportunity to do the hard thing, to have the conversation, to step outside of our comfort zone, it’ll make the next time we do it so much easier.

If you want confidence in sharing your faith, start sharing it. If you want confidence praying out loud for people in public, start praying. If you want confidence in taking risks and doing something new, start taking risks. If you want confidence in having hard conversations, have the conversations. If you want confidence in setting boundaries, start setting boundaries. 

Start doing the hard things and they’ll get easier.

The first time might be horrible, but then it is out of the way and you can move on to the next time. The 100th time is going to be so much better, but we will never get to the 100th time if we don’t do it the first time. 

The Outcome

It’s Gods. The outcome is God’s.

We worry so much about the outcome of something that we won’t do the thing, but we have no control over the outcome. 

I can’t help but wonder how many times I did not invite a friend to church because I was afraid of the outcome. What if she doesn’t like it? What if it’s not her style? What if the pastor says something totally weird on the day I bring her?

We worry so much about how it’s going to go that we talk ourselves out of what we need to do. 

But the outcome is God’s and we just need to do our part.

In my last job, I was required to host orientation for new executive members of the company. I remember the first time I sat down to host this call, I was so incredibly nervous. I sat at my kitchen table and frantically prayed, “Lord, don’t let me say anything stupid or make a fool of myself in front of these high-level employees. Help me not to say the wrong thing or stumble over my slides. Help me to have the right information on the slides and to know the answers to the questions they’re going to ask.” I was so worried about how this was going to go.

But as I was sitting there praying, I realized who I was talking to. I was talking to God, the creator of the universe, all-powerful, almighty God, who made me and knows me and can do absolutely anything. That is who I’m talking to about how nervous I am to talk to these people because of the level they’re at.

I realized how crazy it is that I would fear having a conversation with man so much when I can have such a sweet, easy conversation with God. 

Hebrews 4:16 says, “Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”

We can step into the throneroom of God with confidence to receive whatever we need. 

Ephesians 3:12 says, “In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence.”

If we can approach GOD, the creator of all things, the all-powerful and mighty God who is altogether holy, with freedom and confidence. If we can enter his throne room with confidence, then surely we can have confidence in front of humans too. 

So as we build our confidence, let’s remember to start with God as the foundation, realize the purpose, do the preparation, remember our position, and put in practice. Then, we trust the outcome to God. When your confidence is in God, you leave the outcome to Him. The success is His through you, and the failure is His to use. That is how we can have confidence as Christians.

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