Lindsay Mercado No Comments

Apathy- lack of interest, enthusiasm, or concern. numbness.

A while back, my husband and I were having a conversation and I told him, “I’m overwhelmed. I have too many feelings and emotions. I don’t know what to do with them. I just want to turn them off, ignore them all, and stop feeling for a while.” And so, I did. I shut down, went numb, and ignored it all.

Only to explode the very next day.

In light of all the events that have taken place recently and over the past year as a whole, I believe that apathy is more tempting now than ever. We are experiencing so many challenges, injustices, and voices trying to be heard over the rest. I know that personally, I find myself in a daily battle just to get up and live my life rather than stay in bed and hide. Some days I win, and honestly, some days I never get out of my pajamas.


It isn’t just the national and global crisis’s we are facing either. Many of us are still struggling with our fear and uncertainty about the future, stress about finances, or a relationship with a family member that just always seems to be on the rocks. It’s easy in these personal things to “fake it til we make it” or just brush it under the rug.

We can say all day long that we don’t care, that it doesn’t affect us, or that there’s nothing we can do about it, but the truth is, we do care, and it deeply affects us, but we just don’t know what we could possibly do about it. So, we go numb. Because the emotions are too much to handle, we are overwhelmed, and we can’t see a way out from under the weight of it all.

There’s a lot of people who talk about how you shouldn’t be apathetic because you have to stand up to the injustices of the world and fix all the problems. That’s awesome, in theory, until you are so overcome with your fear, anxiety, panic, or devastation that you can’t even think, and then how on earth are you supposed to be the warrior against the very things that are paralyzing you? We are human. We feel things.

Personally, it doesn’t help that I am, and always have been, a girl of extremes. I’m not happy, but elated. I’m not upset, but furious. I’m not sad, but devastated. I’m not concerned, but anxiety-ridden. I am either on the tip top of the mountain or down in the dumps. It’s not natural for me to be in the middle.

It isn’t a negative thing to experience life in such extremes. When it comes to the good things, I really do enjoy them to the absolute fullest. It just means that if you’re like me, when it comes to the difficult or overwhelming things, we have to deal with the situation and the intense emotions that come right along with it. So how do we do that? When our world is in turmoil on the outside and we feel like we are crumbling on the inside, how do we handle it all?

I want to be incredibly practical in this letter because turning to apathy is a very tangible struggle. I don’t want this to be fluffed up or theoretical, because here is the fact of the matter:

Apathy is a choice. It is a passive way to deal with challenges in life, and it solves nothing.

While that may seem harsh, I think it is important that I be clear and logical (and not add more feelings or emotions to your probably already full heart), so, allow me to explain.

When you shut down, turn off your emotions and go numb, you are reacting in the easiest way possible to the feelings you are experiencing. You are turning off everything. The good feelings are forced to go out with the bad, because you can’t just make those feelings of stress and anxiety disappear. It all goes away. With that, the moment we go ahead and allow our positive emotions back, the negative will come rushing in, as well.

When you resort to apathy, you haven’t dealt with the feelings, you’ve only delayed them.

We have to realize that apathy never actually solves the problem. Being apathetic is a choice, and sometimes it can feel good, or at least easy, to turn off your emotions and become numb, but it doesn’t fix anything. It is a passive reaction to feelings rather than an active action towards a resolution. It doesn’t change the situation that made you feel that way in the first place or help you to process the emotions. As soon as you allow yourself to feel again, all the weight will still be there. Just as intense and extreme as when you felt it before.

Now, I’m not a therapist or psychologist, I am simply sharing what I’ve learned based on my own experience and the conversations I’ve had with other women. I’m sharing this with you as much as I am reminding myself of these things. Nonetheless, I really truly hope this helps you.

You know how sometimes you get that knot in your stomach or the lump in your throat and you’re on the verge of tears with no idea what triggered it? Maybe that’s just me, but I’m guessing there’s a lot of you who know what I’m referring to. That is what I would call a feeling. You just feel it, and your body is reacting. But you really can’t do anything with just a feeling.

When you acknowledge the feeling and name it, then you have a clear emotion. I am frustrated. I am anxious. I am afraid. I am disappointed. You have to know what to call the feeling before you can do anything about it.

Once you know what emotion you are feeling, you can identify the trigger. Maybe it was a comment someone made, or something you saw in the news. Maybe it was a memory that flashed in your mind, or the way someone hugged you.

At that point, you have the information you need to evaluate. You can ask yourself questions that either validate or invalidate the truth of that emotion. Is that situation, event, person worth the energy of me feeling this way? Is it happening now or is this some hypothetical situation? Is there anything in my control that can do to change this right now?

For me, talking out loud is the very best way for me to process my emotions. I’ll go for a drive with my husband and just talk and talk until I’ve worked it out (he usually doesn’t say anything on these drives, he just lets me talk myself though it.) Sometimes, I’ll go for a walk by myself and talk it over with God. But once it’s out of my head, I can process the situations and emotions more easily, and determine what is real and true, and what is simply meaningless noise. Then, I shut them down. We have to shut down the lies, the hypotheticals, and the intangibles and adjust your focus onto the truth.

You can either control your feelings, submitting them to the Lord, or be controlled by your feelings.

The truth is, God is in control, and He is really, really good. He has a plan for this world and also for every step of your life. He is big enough to create the galaxies yet detailed enough to call each star by name. He wants what is best for you. He loves you more than you could possibly understand. He chose you to be His daughter and created every detail of you, big feelings and all. He knows the things that overwhelm your heart, and He offers you His peace.

So, identify those feelings and give the emotion a name, then seek the truth by reading the Bible, praying, and worshiping God. Only then can you take action that makes an impact, rather than allowing your emotions to cause you to react.

Those people I referred to in the beginning who talk about how we shouldn’t be apathetic so that we can make a difference in the world? Well, I agree with them.

The Bible tells us to, “Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.” Romans 12:9-13

I believe that if something is triggering such an intense reaction in you, it’s likely something you need to act on. Maybe it’s a healing you need to seek in your own life or reconciliation that needs to happen in a relationship. Maybe it is an injustice that God has put on your heart to champion against and make an incredible impact on the world. Things like racial injustice, human trafficking, homelessness, child abuse, divorce, mental health, or suicide.

We should absolutely be the women to rally and fight for others, but we have to be free from the bindings of the feelings that drive us towards apathy before we can act and make a difference in the world.

If you are not the very best version of yourself, you are doing a disservice to the people around you.

So, take the time to work through your feelings instead of shutting down. Spend some time with the Lord, reminding yourself of who He is and asking Him if this is something He has put you on this world to advocate for. But please, my friend, be active in facing the feelings, shutting them down and seeking the truth, becoming the best version of yourself, then go, rally, and change the world.

Xoxo,

Lindsay

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