The Direction Of Our Attention Dictates Our Actions
When I was learning to drive, I remember being told that if I ever slid on ice, I needed to look in the direction I was trying to go and that would help get me back on track. I think this is so true of our lives, as well. The direction of our attention dictates the way we go. Our focus gets us on course heading towards where we are trying to end up.
We have three choices for where to turn our focus and our attention – out, in, or up. You know as well as I do that we cannot look in three different directions at the same time. We have to make a conscious decision and effort to keep our eyes fixed on where we are trying to go. Our focus is limited to one thing, one direction, at a time, and depending on where our attention is, that is where our actions go as well.
Looking Out
The first option is that we can look out, and turn our attention to the people around us. Looking at the lives of others and comparing ourselves or trying to gain their approval and acceptance. Looking to them to try to achieve their status or level in life. We compare our lives to theirs. Their job or house, their degree, or even their family.
There may be some momentary fulfillment or satisfaction when we get the praise or recognition we’re searching for, but there is a constant undercurrent of fear of failure, embarrassment, and rejection. We worry that we will make one mistake and everyone will see it. We’re so afraid of what might happen that we don’t just live our lives.
Some of us might become dissatisfied. We start to believe that our wardrobe isn’t good enough, our appearance isn’t good enough, our finances aren’t good enough, our relationships or friendships aren’t good enough. We get into this hamster wheel of striving to reach whatever level someone else has attained that, if we’re honest, usually doesn’t matter that much to us or isn’t something we’re genuinely interested in doing.
The other thing we might do is become distracted. We become so obsessed with having the perfect ______. The perfect life, family, house, and kids, that we are distracted from living our lives and enjoying what we have right now. When we do this, we miss out on experiencing our lives and soaking in the sweetness of the moments we are living today.
We are so distracted by having a clean house that we miss out on movie night with our spouse to clean the dishes. We might shut down our kid’s games and discipline them for the noise instead of joining in the fun, making memories, and laughing.
When we are focused on how we want to appear to other people, we are distracted from enjoying our life the way it is now.
The problem with this is that when we live with our attention on others, we hustle, grind, compare, and live unsettled at the expense of all the sweet, daily moments of joy and laughter that would someday be cherished memories.
It is a dissatisfying way to live when we are so consumed with viewing other people’s lives and trying to make ours viewable.
Looking In
But maybe you don’t struggle with looking out, worrying what others think or how you compare. Maybe your struggle is looking in. If I’m honest, this one is mine.
When we look in, we start trying to satisfy our desires and it ends up leading to an unsatisfying life. A lot of times, those desires are for our comfort. We want to sit, relax, binge-watch, read a good book, and scroll mindlessly. But none of those things actually matter; they’re not filled with purpose or changing the world in any way.
When we live looking in, we become so consumed with our comfort that we get irritated at all the other things we “have to do” and don’t want to do. The dishes become an irritant, the kids start driving us crazy, and the laundry frustrates us. But these things are just a part of life that isn’t going away.
This pursuit of comfort and joy in the things we desire turns around on us and makes us more unhappy because every little thing that takes away from our comfort is frustrating.
Or maybe instead of focusing on our comfort when we look in, we start to try to take control. The danger in this is that we are not actually in control of anything. God is sovereign.
When we start to view ourselves as taking control and having to fix things, that’s when our anxiety starts to build and we try to do way more than we were ever meant to do. We try to control our finances, responsibilities, degrees, and next steps. But life is not in our control and we will end up feeling more out of control the harder we try to control our life.
Looking out doesn’t work because we become dissatisfied and distracted.
Looking in doesn’t work because all we are concerned with is our comfort or our control.
Instead, we must look up.
Looking Up
Colossians 3:2 says, “Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.”
This is a command not to look out, not to focus on earthly things. We need to fix our minds on the things above and focus on God.
Matthew 6:33 says, “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you.”
I love that verse because of the “all these things” that it talks about. Right before verse 33, it says not to worry about what you’re going to eat or drink or wear because God takes care of the birds and the flowers, so how much more is He going to take care of you? He loves you.
When we seek that comfort or control by looking in, these are all the things that we worry about. What should I eat? How should I satisfy this desire? How am I going to make sure my finances are in order and that I have the next step of my life sorted out?
This verse tells us not to worry about these things. To seek first the kingdom of God and all those things that we are worried about or obsessing over, all of it will be added to us.
I’ll be honest, looking up and focusing on God is hard. It is not the way of the world – it’s counter-cultural. It’s hard to shift your mind away from the worry and stress and onto God instead. It’s hard to relinquish our control and set aside our desires. But it is a choice that we can make to focus on things above and seek the kingdom of God.
We can know who He is. That He is sovereign and He is going to take care of everything. He is good and truly has our best in His mind. That we’re not in control, no matter how hard we try to be or how much we want to be. We are not in control.
It can be hard, but it is the most satisfying way to live our lives. By surrendering to God and knowing that the One who created us knows exactly what we need, exactly who we’re meant to be, exactly what He wants us to do in the next step. It is the most satisfying life that we could ever pursue.
It’s also incredibly safe. When you know that God is good and you’re stepping into His will because you are looking up, you will feel sure, steady, and secure, despite the chaos that might be going on around you.
When we look up, life is no longer a to-do list, a burden, an annoyance, or a game we are trying to win. It is a sweet blessing that we can enjoy and use to honor the One who gave it to us.
Friend, the next time you find yourself feeling worn out, or like you’re not enough, or you think you need to control your situation, I want to challenge you to look up. Look up to Jesus. Trust that He is in control and has your best in His mind.
Looking out and comparing or looking in and trying to satisfy the desire for comfort and control, none of that will be as satisfying as looking up to the God of the universe who has everything in His hand. The One who is steady, the same yesterday, today, and forever.
I love what Hebrews 12 says – “let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith.”
Keep your focus locked on Him.
Looking for more? Check out the latest blog posts below!
- How to Read the Bible and Actually Understand It
- How to Practice Self-Care as a Christian | Part Five: Gratitude
- How to Practice Self-Care as a Christian | Part Four: Community Support
- How to Practice Self-Care as a Christian | Part Three: Service
- How to Practice Self-Care as a Christian | Part Two: Scripture
